Cheez Whiz and Crap on a Cracker

8-6-18

(I so adore this younger version of myself! What all she/me/we/I have survived and the ways we’ve grown are incredible.)

Cheez Whiz and crap on a cracker… Here I go again! Prayers please.

If you’re so inclined, please add me to your prayer list – they helped a lot last time. I don’t want to be a drama queen however I’m a shitty liar (I’m not fine) and haven’t been myself lately and could use some help. Also, I believe many of us could benefit with a little help from our friends – and so often our DIY culture doesn’t encourage us to ask for help, accept help when it’s offered or actually offer help to others. Living is a group process.  

Try it – It connects you to humanity. Or so I’ve heard. I’ve not been a good example of asking or accepting generosity from others; I’m much better at pretending everything is ok – until it isn’t.

(Me touching the famous Angel Tree in South Carolina shortly before CHF diagnosis – I wonder how many people would connect if everyone who touched this tree were to meet here for hugs and stories?)

I’ve been receiving professional help for Depression and Anxiety for a couple years now. It’s been challenging for me, insightful and healing. A few lovely people have made a point of checking in on me and at the time I knew I was off and not myself but didn’t know it was as serious as it is. You guys are wonderful and I am blessed to have you in my life. Thank you.

I got a call this week, the day before my birthday, from my cardiologist’s office and learned that I have heart failure – again. I had congestive heart failure 20 years ago and survived and that’s my plan for this time too.

I forgot that depression, anxiety and stress are killers that often proceed and mask heart failure symptoms and other health disorders – so here I am again re-living the lesson. Also, I haven’t been taking very good care of myself.  

On my birthday, I picked up the prescribed medications that worked in the past. I’ve got an appointment for angioplasty set up – this is a new procedure for me. It won’t be exactly like last time; 20 years has passed.

What worked well for me last time was a lot of rest, support from loved ones, stubbornness, determination, faith, prayers, western, eastern and alternative medical practices and knowing I wasn’t alone.

I am a firm believer in, “Throw everything at it”.

What’s this new yet familiar adventure going to be like?

I’m not sure and ready or not, here I am – Sassy, stubborn, humble, determined and filled with love and compassion.

One huge change is that I’m not isolated as much this time. There’s this groovy connection here in social media, research opportunities like never before and downloadable e-books! Life is good.

Thanks for sticking with me and adding me to your prayers – As Gilda said, “It’s always something” so it’s no surprise that we all could use help and prayers.

From me to you, Prayers, cyber hugs and bright blessings! And let me know what else you may require.

Life is Groovy!

PS:

Thank you for reading this older post – I hesitated including these and I flipped and flopped and overthought and then decided it would be worth including these as they may be useful to someone else on their own journey.

They not so elegantly document the messiness – and therein lies the beauty and purpose.

If you’d like to work with a life coach who’s walked some dark paths and also played with rainbows and fireflies please feel free to contact me here for availability and pricing.